Shrugs..

Hmm, a wasted day, I swear. All I did today was bury my head under novels, underneath the comfort of my jumper and blankie, with Perfect 10 on the radio. Felt so warm and oooh-sooo-lost-in-my-own-world, that I fell back to deep sleep.

The trip to Jayjay's Navy school was cancelled.. Because we were late. So I prepared myself for nothing. Upon hearing the heated arguements among my siblings and mom, I switched off entirely, slumped back into the couch and got myself drowned into the sounds of the blaring tele. Practically I was just staring blankly at the moving images on that screen. Perhaps the mind had decided to wander of to somewhere far away. No disturbance, interuptions, shit, nonsense, heart-breaks. Plainly this painful PEACE I call my own. I'm so sick and tired of hearing my family quarrel over sickeningly-tiny-matters. SICK SHIT. Whatever.

Chocolates were a great help. Heavenly comfort foooooood for the lonely emo girl.. A 20 minute run to burn of these mean extra calories though. Just neeeeeded choccccss.... So I ran and I ran with my empty head, blasting music with my antic Iriver MP3 player... Some random thoughts just whizzed past my empty head. Images of them and everything that happened. Scenes of hurt. URG... Ran faster.. Imagined that sweet escape was right ahead of me... Slowed down, halt, took a deep breath. Bam, back to reality.

I missed Aunty Beth. She used to be my family's everything. She decided to leave us during 2004.. It has almost been 2 years since she's gone now. Despite all the silly arguements we had, deep down in me, I missed her the most.. She was the one who was there for me since I was this tiny little fragile soul, since the day I was born.... Sigh.. An unexplainable feelings just struck me, can't seem to comprehend.. We can't have her back was the only thought that truely breaks me. Mmmmhmmm, just had an hour long convo with her on the phone this afternoon. Glad that she's happy with her husband and is now living peacefully in Hawaii : ) God Bless YOU and your family...

It's 2007 tomorrow. I will have a good year, definitely. Countdown with the lonely girl, anyone? :) At home that is. Good night.


Random Random.
"Katong X'mas Performance; Some of the band ppl!"
"Just the end, I was left with 3 saxy poots :( Oh well, LOVE!!"

Never Really Was.

School's coming back to haunt me.
Projects are back to haunt me.
Something's back to haunt me...
My mind's killing every inch of me.

Why did something like that comes over me?
Every single time.
And I fall again..
Sigh?
Please let me go.
Please.
Please.
Please release me from your evil clutches....
PLEASE?

"Yearning to be brought away
To somewhere far away from here
Every little thing you wanted
I never really was
I can't hold on any longer
Give up on me
Let me go
Because we might fall.."

Like you ever CARED?
WOOKAYS. END OF THIS EMO SHITTY POST.
ALL SMILES AGAIN! :))
On the surface, that is..

!Holidays :)

The holidays were so God-damn fulfilling, babes. It's coming to an end, my good year(urm.. hesitates awhile...) Nevermind. A new year is just about to begin in 4 days! 6 days till Term4, the very last last LAST Term for Year 1. Time flies like shit, huh! WOOO~

Christmas Eve was sooooooooooooooo fulfilling! I think I over-ate, like a gazillion times! WOah my God! Just can't stop grubbing! LOL. Food was too great! Especially Jumbo sausages!! LOL! Kelly and all rocked the house, man! Woooo, and I made a new friend(!FLORRIE), who calls me the Catwoman. Hahaha, right.. God knows why they call me that?! Lol. Where's Batman?! x) Sooooooooooo, we watched movies for 4hours straight and I stayed over with Yvonne and went insane at 6AM in the effing morning over half-floating/deflating helium filled balloons in Kelly's bedroom. Oh I forgot to mention, my adorable friends just enjoy sucking helium to get this oh-so-cute voice effect; "Fuck You!" just sounded like "Phark-ew!" Lmao! Finally getting my rest at 7 when Mr. Randy decided to wake me up and just to tell me, "The rain is just so nice to sleep in.." Thanks , luh. We were suppose to go to church with Flower for some drama, in the end, this fella decided to sleep in longer! Hmm! You lazy piglet! :p So everything was cancelled and continued to sleep till like 11? Woke up and wash up a little, left Kel's home at around 1PM? Back home, showered... Slept for another 2hours, got up and went straight to Yvonne's chalet/bbq. HAHA! Happy Christmas, YA???

Went Downtown East and had a bbq over with my ex-school classmates! :) Kinda rock the night away. Eating chicken wings, hotdogs, otahs, satays, fishball, etc in the chalet room. Got high with some liquor, played games all the way till 2AM! Some pigs decided to turn-in :p And poor me ended up chatting up a storm with them till guess what.... 6AM!! I can really do without sleep, luh! LOL.. In the end they all gave up and turned in. I slept like... I could actually do Yoga in my dreams!!!! My God luh, my entire body was twisted! :z I woke up with very bad aches over my bod. Grrr... Checked out at around 11 and it was pourin. Some of the parents decided to pick the kids up :] SJ's daddy drove some of us home. Took this super long bath and slapped myself back to bed.. And so I slept for like another hour plus while I was awoken by Lovely's call.. GARRRRRRR!!! She wanted to meet up, so alright. And soooo, we ended up going to Ikea :) YAY.

Got changed and was ready by 2.30 ;) So we shopped around Tampine Mall and headed to Ikea.



"While waiting for the shuttle bus to Ikea.."

"Back to Tamp MRT St. RED AND BLUE! :)"
Hmm, not that bad. Food was ok.. 3.5/5. Hahahas. I wanted to eat the meatballs so badly :( It's okay, there's always.... NEXT TIME! Hahahaha. Went back to Tamp Mall and it was so colddddd...... :/ Called Bear to tell him that the picnic was cancelled dued to Miss Olivia who was afraid of the SEA. TSK! LOL. Ya... And we ended up having coffee at Starbucks. LOL, played the silly paper game again. Olivia's the biggest LOSER!!! :p neehh! Didn't want to go home, real bad. Some kind soul decided to stay behind with me :)



"Singing.. And hallucinating that the umbrella was a microphone. TSK TSK.."
HAHA.. Thank YOU :) Give you many many hugs, luh. Okay? (HUGSSSSS)

Man, I typed such an uber long entry. LOL... Okay lor, I go to bed now. It's very cold now.. So do take care and cover up, okays? WARM-HUGS FOR ALL! :)

random thoughts for the day.

I've finished my french shit project. Like FINALLY.. After sitting infront of the PC for 6hrs straight, just researching over this french man who is dead like a century ago, yes Mr. Victor Marie Hugo. Bahh.. Nice name though. He's interesting, but sadly I'm not interested. Tsk tsk.

Playing Yahoo! pool with Randy 'cause we are oh-so-bored. Sighh. This Christmas will be a lonely one :( Damn tragic. No love, no special someone. LOL. It's alright. Ohhhh Holy Night... The stars are brightly shining.. :) For me, for me. LA LA LA.

It's raining now.. My feets a little cold again. I need warmth. I can gladly throw my nose away now. It's runny. Ew. Sigh... I need a big fat hug now. Feeling so deprived. Ugggg. Hate these feelings. Tell me exactly what to feel right now. My emotions are so hard to predict...

Feeling soooooo damn lazy now. Yawns. Okays.......... I'll update on X'mas. Happy X'mas Lovelies :)

i feel awful..

I feel soooo damn awful know because I've came down with this horrible flu on MY HOLIDAY. Wtf.. Uhhhh.. Anyway, The weekend is here, (sings~~) Yeap! My one week past me by just like that?! Sigh. School's starting in a week!!! GAHH! Whatever. It's Christmas Eve tomorrow!!! Yay. Yay. Happy kids, aren't we?? Heeee.. Hmmmm, party's Sunday over at darling's place! We'll have a bash :D Ok enough about this..

Thursday the 20th of Dec, was indeed a very meaningful day for us, PISANGS! It was our X'mas Dinner! :D Had soooo much fun with all of you guys. Exchanging of presents and drinking cheapo wine were just enjoyable! Hope to see alllll of you again :)



Hmm, today... Today was TPCB's performance at Katong. Some mini X'mas performance. All of us did yeah, like what Jade says, EXCELLENT! Weeeeee! Band people are just INSANE..! GOD. LOVE YOU ALL VERY VERY MUCH! :) They make my life go round and round and round and round. HAHA. Hope you all had a great time fooling around! :D See y'all on the 5th of January.

I better GO NOW.. I'm really sick and tired... :Z Just feel horrendous. Need to complete my french shit tomorrow. Sigh... Good night.

A reason to stay.

Screwed host.

Sorry but my hostress don't want to host my sub-domain anymore :( , so I was away for what seemed like 12835743239 years. Very very very sorry. Ok, so at the moment, you can only read this very post. If you click on the other pages, they practically won't load any longer. So, give me a little time to revamp my blog :) Kinda upsetting 'cause I can't even design my own template now, my own PC, you know that fucking shit crashed on me.. So I do not have my Photoshop with me! :( MMMMM, Darling kel kel kel! I would love you to make me a pretty blog template then! You know, I love shiny glittery shit. Hehehe. Thanks. Okay. So be patient babes. I'll be back reaaaaal soon. You can link me up at the mean time. Getting so late. Have to be up by 7 tomorrow for breakfast with those kuku band khakis. Lol. Band band band and to meeeeet my banana poots in the afternoon! WEEEE.. Okay gtg.

SO EFFING COLD. MY TOES ARE ICY SHIT. Hmmmm...

it's over :)

I guess everything's okay now... I think. Learning how to laugh, smile, comfort and console myself as the days pass me by. Still, I lose my way.. But I believe there's always someone who would guide me along. They are always there, I know :) Thanks for keeping my life going.

Doesn't really matter now that I've lost a part of you in me, no matter how much it takes, it just doesnt come back.. You don't even care, why would I turn back. I could only look at you in disdain... I just can't believe why did you ended yourself in this wreck.. To think... You would only shove my helping hand away....

Whatever.

Mid-Semester test :( It has been making me real tired.. Hardcore mugging session in the afternoon again. Today's PRM pratically sucked the juices out of me. Fuck school. :d Sorry. Have been very crude lately.. Seriously IGNORE me whenever I'm hurling profanities. A week of torture. T O R T U R E, baby...

It's 3.00AM now. Time to turn in. Good night. I believe.... Everything's going to be okay.. Trust me.

Nobody said it was easy

My computer died on me last night. The very very extreme last thing I thought would ever happened. I'm here infront of my brothers' PC. I swear to God this is the worst week anyone could ask for.. Where were you when I needed you the most.... Critically at my lowest.. Do I even deserve this?! Where did all our yesterdays been....? I can't even seem to smile and console myself that everything will be okay... Everyday just seems harder to take no matter how fucking hard I tried....
Can't you save me...?

I wrote a song for you and myself so I could pour every drop of sorrow and tear out of me, I seriously can't go on like that. Let this be my last straw..

Lost Meanings;
Truth's the shaperend edge of a knife
That stabs right through you
Leaving hearts in crimson blood
To live in a world filled with lies
A world you and I can't comprehend
Thought you'd be there to lift me up this wreck
Another mistake, and I was wrong again this time

I'd screamed out your name
When the world comes crashing through the doors
When reality shatters all hopes
My prayers reveberate
Till the devils set me free
And lay me down in your arms

Losing the way
It gets harder each day
Believing you would still be there like our yesterdays
But everything falls on deaf ears
Their meanings fade away
All my words said
What this love can't do..